The idea of catalyst has been with me for a while. It came to mind when I heard a story from the Zohar about a person who was deeply grieving the death of his much adored teacher. He comes to believe that his teacher’s light would not perish in death and starts to fast in order to connect with this source of wisdom. He fasts and he fasts until he sees a vision and is told what a person has to do in order to ascend to the highest sphere of spiritual awareness. The grief was a catalyst or channel for the realization. The realization was a catalyst for the fast which was a catalyst for the vision. Every choice we make has potential to be a channel. The question is whether we make choices to encourage the catalysts that fosters love. The Kabbalah text states that in order to reach the higher spheres we must work “to turn darkness to light, bitterness to sweetness”. We are told that every day we need to be expectantly waiting for a world of wholeness and peace.
In my experience, prayer is one of the most powerful catalysts for this although not often as I intend. Sometimes things seem hopeless, it seems that it would take a marvelous event manifesting a supernatural act of God to bring a good outcome. Faith can be so hard to keep when things seem to go wrong but miracles do happen all the time. As I thought about what a miracle if it would be if I was able to fulfill what I think is G-d’s purpose for my existence, I realized that up to now my life has actually been full of miracles; three near death experiences, severe poverty, homelessness, gross naiveté (or stupidity). Then I realized that most people (soldiers and civilians) in a war zone have near death experiences. Many people live lives that are miraculous, mine is far from unique.
Even knowing this there are realities to being alive in this material sphere. There is pain and grief, longing and loneness that can be overwhelming even (or especially) at those times when culturally we are supposed to be happy like birthdays and holidays and Thanksgiving. My Ed recently heard a man who was autistic talking about how he runs programs in his life; when he needs a meal he runs his “cooking program” and if he notices he is kind of glum he runs his “happy program”. What a good idea. This season has been sad for me being the first without my mother for important occasions but while I might not be able to make happy I can run my “its all okay” program.
As I thought about my mother my mind turned to other ancestors. I realized I have a great deal for which to be grateful. They were all such special people. I read stories or look at pictures of them and I feel connected. But they are just stories of ordinary human beings living extraordinary (and sometimes contradictory) lives. The are just images. I miss those I knew on this level of existence but know that there is a different sphere where my mother still sparkles. Here I find a peace beyond words and light and sweetness. I touch love and feel completely at home at last.
Thursday
Afterthought from Torah Study 1:20:1
This week the section of Torah that we studied was at least on the surface, particularly difficult to find a spiritual lesson. Abraham and Sarah are traveling in hostile territory and he has her represent their relationship as brother and sister because he feels he will be safer. She is taken by a king named Abimelech. God speaks to Abimelech in a dream telling him not to touch Sarah because she’s another man’s wife and if he disobeys he will die.
One thing a lot of these kind of stories tell us is how the prophets were so very human. Another thing this narrative seemed to be about is how fear can inhibit us from leading spiritually faithful lives and the various test that await us along the way. While this is true, as I thought a little longer; a little deeper something else came to me. I started at the last part we read. Sarah becomes pregnant with Abraham’s and her first (and only) child. She gives birth to the baby God has told her she will bear (even though she is in her 90’s). Why did this happen then? Why not months before or months later?
What occurred to me was that maybe promises that are made on the spiritual plane need some sort of catalyst to be executed in the material world. Just before Sarah conceives, Abraham prays for the health of Abimelech and his court and the women become pregnant. So maybe this is the catalyst, praying for someone else what you are wishing for yourself.
However if it was simply that then it too could have happened earlier. The difference was that Abraham was praying for the health of someone who he had offended and wronged (in assuming Abimelech would behave unethically and letting him go down that path unimpeded). And as Abimelech did take Sarah he wronged Abraham as well. It would have been so easy for Abraham to get defensive, angry and resentful, perhaps even guilty and anger with himself as it was God who stood up for Sarah not him. Instead he opened his heart and his connection with God on Abimelech’s behalf. Maybe this was the catalyst. It’s about being a part of, a channel for divine love not simply when its easy but in the harder relationships as well.
In my prayer life one of the primary things I desire is the miracle of, as lowly as I am, having the ability, courage and opportunity to fulfill an important purpose for God. So in stumbling in Abraham’s footsteps my prayer is for everyone, those I am close to and especially those with whom there is trouble, for the miracle of them being able to live a life that is actively following and fulfilling God’s important purpose for their unique selves, living lives that are rich in all creative goodness, happiness and God’s power.
How can I/we become catalysts? When in full measure without regard to distress we walk a purposeful path of love and beauty and pray this for others as well. In this way we all become part of the One Whole Holy Self. 1+1=1
One thing a lot of these kind of stories tell us is how the prophets were so very human. Another thing this narrative seemed to be about is how fear can inhibit us from leading spiritually faithful lives and the various test that await us along the way. While this is true, as I thought a little longer; a little deeper something else came to me. I started at the last part we read. Sarah becomes pregnant with Abraham’s and her first (and only) child. She gives birth to the baby God has told her she will bear (even though she is in her 90’s). Why did this happen then? Why not months before or months later?
What occurred to me was that maybe promises that are made on the spiritual plane need some sort of catalyst to be executed in the material world. Just before Sarah conceives, Abraham prays for the health of Abimelech and his court and the women become pregnant. So maybe this is the catalyst, praying for someone else what you are wishing for yourself.
However if it was simply that then it too could have happened earlier. The difference was that Abraham was praying for the health of someone who he had offended and wronged (in assuming Abimelech would behave unethically and letting him go down that path unimpeded). And as Abimelech did take Sarah he wronged Abraham as well. It would have been so easy for Abraham to get defensive, angry and resentful, perhaps even guilty and anger with himself as it was God who stood up for Sarah not him. Instead he opened his heart and his connection with God on Abimelech’s behalf. Maybe this was the catalyst. It’s about being a part of, a channel for divine love not simply when its easy but in the harder relationships as well.
In my prayer life one of the primary things I desire is the miracle of, as lowly as I am, having the ability, courage and opportunity to fulfill an important purpose for God. So in stumbling in Abraham’s footsteps my prayer is for everyone, those I am close to and especially those with whom there is trouble, for the miracle of them being able to live a life that is actively following and fulfilling God’s important purpose for their unique selves, living lives that are rich in all creative goodness, happiness and God’s power.
How can I/we become catalysts? When in full measure without regard to distress we walk a purposeful path of love and beauty and pray this for others as well. In this way we all become part of the One Whole Holy Self. 1+1=1
Tuesday
~From WORSHIP~
What was important to early Friends was the personal experience of the inner light. George Fox said to clergy or others using literal biblical text to substantiate a religious argument ”I know what it sayeth but what does thou sayeth”. For Quakers it is all about the experiential dimension of spiritual awareness; that experience of epiphany. We cultivate this not just at rare moments but hold the real possibility of a continuous opening to this source of revelation, this most intimate part of ourselves.
One aspect of the human condition is that often in order to experience something we have to first learn or develop skills. You can’t experience the Internet unless you first learned how to run a computer. It is the work we do throughout each day of meditation or study that leads to the ability to fully open. This activity also has the benefit of moving us to being in harmony with the world and our destiny. So, as we grow more and more, the seemingly random moments in our lives can become transcendent and significant in making the world a better place, miracles happen.
Eyes that are closed cannot see the material world. Hearts that are close can not seen the spiritual light. No one else can open them for us. Its up to each human being whether or not to be a holy people. Whether of not to be ready to hear as God said to Abraham “fear not I am a shield to you“ and rest in the place of oneness, love and peace. It is waiting for us.
(the above image was found shortly after this was written in a secluded spot in the middle of the woods)
Wednesday
AFTERTHOUGHTS FROM TORAH STUDY 1:1:1
Over and over again I'm getting the same message. This ongoing repetition is very unusual for me and it makes the concept of 1+1=1 more and more immediate.
The most recent lesson is about Adam and Eve. "And the serpent said to the woman (the Hebrew says Adam was there with her), "as soon as you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God who knows good and bad." What is it that they are going to lose by eating this fruit? Some say a state of innocence, the belief that everything is good. An additional idea is that they lost the sense of unity and entered the world of duality. Suddenly there is good and bad, wrong and right, birth and death. Their egos materialize and they feel self-consciousness and shame. This begins our journey.
In thinking about this I was reminded of the Ouroborus. Many, many diverse cultures have this image of a snake in a circle biting its tail. It is a symbol of the eternal unity of all things, the cycle of birth and death. The Ouroborus can be traced back to Ancient Egypt, circa 1600 BC and the Ouroborus called the Chrysopoeia of Cleopatra encloses the words hen to pan "one, the all", i.e. "All is One". Its black-and-white halves represent the duality of existence.
God can see the duality but understands it within unity being the larger, total truth. It should be noted that being like something is not stating that one is something. While God might know and understand duality it is within a context, a framework whose sole existence is wholeness. As humans we can at best have only the most rudimentary understanding of this concept hence we enter the world of duality and ego and it is all we understand as reality.
At birth we start the journey in unity and cross into duality. We are born in innocence and wholeness, our egos separate and we go through life in the state of duality; me - you, until we come back again to the source. This is true on an individual basis and also as a species: circular journeys. At some point this road will near completion and it will be like a circle coming back to that place of oneness. In the world to come we are told that it will be a time of perfect peace and oneness, of Shalom. It is just around the bend.
The most recent lesson is about Adam and Eve. "And the serpent said to the woman (the Hebrew says Adam was there with her), "as soon as you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God who knows good and bad." What is it that they are going to lose by eating this fruit? Some say a state of innocence, the belief that everything is good. An additional idea is that they lost the sense of unity and entered the world of duality. Suddenly there is good and bad, wrong and right, birth and death. Their egos materialize and they feel self-consciousness and shame. This begins our journey.
In thinking about this I was reminded of the Ouroborus. Many, many diverse cultures have this image of a snake in a circle biting its tail. It is a symbol of the eternal unity of all things, the cycle of birth and death. The Ouroborus can be traced back to Ancient Egypt, circa 1600 BC and the Ouroborus called the Chrysopoeia of Cleopatra encloses the words hen to pan "one, the all", i.e. "All is One". Its black-and-white halves represent the duality of existence.
God can see the duality but understands it within unity being the larger, total truth. It should be noted that being like something is not stating that one is something. While God might know and understand duality it is within a context, a framework whose sole existence is wholeness. As humans we can at best have only the most rudimentary understanding of this concept hence we enter the world of duality and ego and it is all we understand as reality.
At birth we start the journey in unity and cross into duality. We are born in innocence and wholeness, our egos separate and we go through life in the state of duality; me - you, until we come back again to the source. This is true on an individual basis and also as a species: circular journeys. At some point this road will near completion and it will be like a circle coming back to that place of oneness. In the world to come we are told that it will be a time of perfect peace and oneness, of Shalom. It is just around the bend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)